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Wednesday, April 06, 2005 

Airports, Hospitals, Death, and Yoga

Today was a great day. My sixth grade boys were disturbingly good today. It rained today, and I am a big fan of the occasional dreary, wet, gloomy day. I think they're necessary for the soul. Today was also payday, which is far better news to me than anyone could possibly understand. Melissa and I went out to eat tonight, and we were discussing marriage. I have a pretty bad attitude about marriage, to be honest, and was being very critical about it tonight. But I've been thinking since then, and I think the error in my thinking comes in assuming that all the bad times one experiences in marriage is due entirely to the other person. (This is one of those subconscious thoughts - I promise I don't have such blatantly untrue and self-righteous thoughts in the part of my mind I'm more aware of.) But that's wrong. My thinking tonight at dinner was, "Why get married and be miserable when you can be semi-happy and alone?" That's wrong though - it's saying that happiness is a mood, which (the kind of happiness I'm talking about anyway) it isn't. Ah, I get the sneaking suspicion that I'm not making any sense. Anyway, the point is that my attitude and thoughts about marriage are pretty bad - not that it's in my future (definitely not the immediate future), but the root of such thoughts and feelings are important to deal with.

The stairway in my apartment building smelled like an airport tonight. I don't know why that is, and I'm not entirely sure I could describe the airport smell if pressed. Nonetheless, that was my first thought when I was walking up the stairs to my apartment. However, when I was walking back down the stairs to meet Melissa and go for a walk, I thought that maybe it smelled like a hospital. THAT led me off onto a mental tangent about the similarities between airports and hospitals, and how in vastly different ways, they represent transition. (When Melissa and I were walking and I mentioned this, I used "death" instead of "transition.") I'm not sure how true that is related to smaller trips (or smaller medical procedures/operations?), maybe the airport (and hospital) aren't such big deals then. It's just my experience combined with my oh-so unique (morbid?) mind. I know that Pensacola airport...and airport I've been to frequently, took on a whole new light when I was waiting for my flight out of the country (via Memphis, that is). And for those of you familiar with my experiences at Ben Gurion airport...oh...that was beyond trying. Nonetheless, leaving Israel (well, trying to leave Israel and then actually leaving Israel - so both times) represented a transition - the end (death) of a chapter in my life. I'm really not obsessed with death - but death is a vital concept for Christianity. It's been said by so many who are far wiser and more eloquent than myself, so I'll not linger on this point. (I am frustrated beyond belief, because I cannot find the Bonhoeffer quote I'm thinking of - and my copy of The Cost of Discipleship is in Pensacola.) Ah! Found it! Here it is:

When Christ calls a man, He bids him come and die. …death in Jesus Christ, the death of the old man [or nature] at his call.



It's an incomplete quote, but the best I could find. Anyway - that's what I'm thinking about - airports, hospitals, death, transition, Bonhoeffer, and...yoga, actually. On that note, here's my new favorite yoga pose...



It's amazing, and one that you can hold for awhile once you actually get into it. This was the cause of much laughter and a few near-death (again with the death!) experiences yesterday. And I discovered some muscles in my shoulders I didn't know existed. Nonetheless, here it is. Try it!

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