Kimchi, not for me

I understand the point of this book, I really do. I read the whole thing, and it's not like any of it is incorrect. I'm just not sure if it's appropriate for children, and I'm quite certain it's not appropriate for ESL kids. I didn't even say anything to the Korean staff about it. It's just one of those things. This so isn't the strangest book I've ever seen. There's this book about the birds and the bees, written in Korean (with the English title "Mummy Laid An Egg!") that was stunningly inappropriate. I'll try to dig it out sometime and scan the really atrocious pages. I'll leave you with this teaser though, when I was referring to it in conversation with Beth and Adam and I called it the "Kama Sutra for kids." Seriously SO inappropriate.

I took my camera to work with me one day last week in order to take a picture of that book (those pictures to follow these, I promise). Then I had my camera out, and took a few pictures that capture a pretty good part of my life here.

Here we have an adorable little Korean girl reaching for what I had in my hands. (In this case, it was my camera. Sometimes it's my basket, a flashcard, a book, my smiley stamp used for motivation, or sometimes she wants me to fly her so it's just my arms.) I then captured the action shot of her jumping to get what I foolishly and stubbornly refused to give her. I cannot even begin to tell you how used I am to having kids literally hanging all over me. And I know that's a kid thing, it's just complicated by the language barrier. Like the time I had eight 4 year olds piled on top of me because I had stupidly pretended to be sleeping to illustrate a point. I was literally stuck underneath them, only being able to remove one or two from on top of me, and then one started tickling my feet. Honestly, I thought I was going to wet my pants. I don't even remember how I got them off me...I think I cried "Candy!" (I am so not joking.) Or the time I had four of the same four year olds hanging on from different positions on my neck. I couldn't breathe and couldn't tell them (as air is kind of necessary for speech). Luckily one of the Korean teachers came in and saw my red-turning-blue face and saved me.

I changed my template (I know, duh). Embarrassing as this is to admit, given that the only coworker who is a native English speaker reads this, I did it today at work. I am actually always quite busy at work, but had a lull today for a whole handful of reasons. So I spent the last 35 minutes before my class tweaking the template. I was quite proud that I did it all myself. The picture of Daive still looks a little stretched, but I'm okay with it.

Now for a new installment in the land of "You've got to be kidding me." For the sake of time spent typing, I'm going to remove all the cumbersome details that made the whole ordeal so frustrating and awkward, so please understand it was actually much worse than I'm making it out to be. :) Our downstairs neighbor called and ended up coming to our apartment, and looking on our back porch for a refrigerator. The language barrier was quite a problem here, and had me worried that this complete stranger (however nice he was) was looking for a non-existent refrigerator on my back porch. Said kind-but-potentially-insane stranger then asks me to go to his apartment for five minutes. *sigh* Okay. Now we'll skip by the massive awkwardness, the shock at how nice his family's apartment was compared to mine, and the extreme difficulties in communication to say that our air conditioner was keeping them awake at night. First of all, I have only had it on all night once. That would have been the night before this uncomfortable interaction. And it kept them awake?! The buses that pass by our building are louder than our air conditioner. They didn't ask me not to use it ever, but asked me to call the owner and have him fix it. The problem with that is that we're moving out in roughly three weeks. We have no idea if the owner is going to rent or sell the apartment. If he's selling it, there's NO way he'll fix/replace the A/C unit. And I'm honestly thrilled to death that it's June 29 and I just now really *need* the A/C. But at the same time, it's June 29 and I really *need* the A/C. Know what I mean?

Then there's the whole issue of moving in roughly three weeks to an as-of-yet undetermined location. I know that'll get worked out, but it just makes me feel very...unsettled. And PS - I hate moving.

Anyway, I have more I could say, but I'm going to go play with the template a little more and see what I can do. Good night!

I really would like to change my template on here, but I know it's a project that takes this HTML-challenged girl a lot of time, and it's too late to start tonight.

I'm having a bit of a blah weekend. I'm going to be visiting the States for two weeks either mid-August or end of August/beginning of September. I'm getting really really really excited about it. But I've found myself really struggling with homesickness for the past few days. This is quite strange for me. I haven't been homesick for a long time. I know it's only normal, but it's been difficult. I also got my hair cut really short again. I love having really short hair, and I think it totally fits my personality, but it's just kind of shocking. Then I colored it black, which I also love, but was also a bit shocking. I'm just having a hard time adjusting. Then one of my friends here is being a little weird, and I'm finding it more frustrating than I normally would.

Anyway, I'm going to go read myself to sleep. Night all.

I have inherited a rather unfortunate trait from my father. It's the panic curse. And I don't mean the curse of panic. I mean the act (art?) of cursing while panicked. It's like selective Turret's, and I'm not making fun of the handicap. I'm being serious. Just now my cat and my legs got in a terrible tangle which I thought was going to end with serious pain for one or both of us. It seems like my brain should be directing all available energy towards keeping me upright, or at least in a safe falling position, while also keeping the safety of the cat somewhat in view. Such is not the case. In mid-stumble the most awful and yet morbidly creative string of profanity came out of my mouth that it shocked me. Once I landed safely, smacked the cat on his rather large retreating hind end, and sat down, I actually started to laugh. As a rule, I try not to curse. I will confess that a well-placed expletive can make me laugh till I cry, but I try to stay away from them. (It's one thing to curse at the animals when you work at a vet but when you're a teacher....yeah, entirely different.)

Anyway, my ankle is twisted and I have a potty mouth. That's pretty much all I had to share.

This is what I do at work...looking up tongue twisters on the internet is actually job-related for me. Of course, I would never dream of giving this one to my students. The ones I wrote down for them were like "Six sick sheep" and "Toy boat toy boat toy boat." (That last one is trickier than it seems like it would be.) The one below cracked me up. It was also one of the few ones with words starting in S that didn't end up with me accidentally cursing.


Ned Nott was shot
and Sam Shott was not.
So it is better to be Shott
than Nott.
Some say Nott
was not shot.
But Shott says
he shot Nott.
Either the shot Shott shot at Nott
was not shot,
or
Nott was shot.
If the shot Shott shot shot Nott,
Nott was shot.
But if the shot Shott shot shot Shott,
then Shott was shot,
not Nott.
However,
the shot Shott shot shot not Shott --
but Nott.

PS - While looking in the little library at my job today I found a book so bizarre and hilarious, I'm going to take a picture of it and post it later on. I removed it from the library, amid head-shaking and the thought, "This is what happens when non-English speakers buy the books for the library." So there's something for you to look forward to.

The last thing anyone here needs is more proof that I'm strange. However, as my dear sister required me to join in this weirdness sharing fest...here goes.

1. I have to have socks on while I sleep.

2. The word "jambalaya" alone induces gagging, and on occasion, actual vomit.

3. For the pet Halloween costume contest I dressed one dog as Martin Luther (the white dog) and the black dog as the door of the chapel at Wittenburg where he nailed the 95 Theses.

4. I passed my dog off as a service dog so she could fly from Pensacola to Tel Aviv with me on my lap (no cage) for free. (And when pressed about it in Amsterdam I started to exaggerate and strayed from my set speech due to nervousness and ended up telling these wide-eyed flight attendents that she could dial 911 if the phone's buttons were big enough.)

5. I cannot make myself use a soft-bristled toothbrush. I think they're for wimps. I want either Medium or Hard.

6. I have to sleep with a sleep mask (Tempur-Pedic even, the BEST ever made) to block out all light and a fan on near my head to block out as much sound as possible.

I'm supposed to tag people, but most people don't pay attention to that anyway. I'll say Bethany, Val, JoAnna (if she's ever online again), my GA Mom (do it in the comment section if you wish), and Haley should do it....if you want. :)

But now, off to bed.

PS - Just as I was typing "off to bed" my idiot cat (language has been severely censored) knocked over an entire glass of water from my bedside table ONTO my bed, soaking half of my mattress, a very good portion of my bedding, the book I was reading, my SOCKS (weird thing #7 I think wet socks are one of the most unpleasant things that can be experienced in everyday hum-drum life), and then when said uncoordinated obese kitty was trying to run for his LIFE out of my room, he got caught on the cord and knocked over the fan and a stack of books. I hate the cat right now. That is all.

I've had serious complications with Citibank regarding my student loans. When I finally got it all settled and my consolidation application submitted and approved, they said I was on an in-school deferrment until June 2006. I dunno where they get their info from, and I fixed it once, but then it went back on an in-school deferrment for reasons unknown to me. I tried to fix it again, and it just wasn't happening. So I was like, "Yeah, okay...whatever you say." The deferrment ends this month. I just tried to make a payment online and it wasn't working out. Then I saw that my balance was more than twice what a monthly payment should be. So I called, and turns out my first payment isn't due until NEXT month. Bonus! That means I'll be able to get an Ipod Nano from Costco. (My much-beloved MP3 player randomly turns off and won't come back on at unpredictable times for varying lengths of time.) And now that I've had one, even for such a short time, I just can't go back. Know what I mean?

Part of me thinks I should set aside the money for the "money to spend when I visit the States in August/September" fund. But then I realize that if I don't buy the Ipod now, I'll just buy it in two weeks when I get paid. And I already have a set amount to set aside each month for the States trip, along with a set number of people to buy gifts for each month, so that I don't have to rush out and buy gifts for 30 people at one time. Aren't I so practical? (The real test will be to see if I actually DO it or not.)

And one other note...today Beth (Adam's wife, seen a few pictures below with her son and the monkey) brought in cookies for Adam and me (me and Adam? Adam and I?). They were peanut butter cookies (my favorite, AKA *heavenly*). Koreans don't appreciate peanut butter like North Americans do, and therefore she brought them just for Adam and I (since I don't know which one is really right, I'll alternate...it's almost like a game!). I then proceeded to hide the plate in the drawer of my desk so that I wouldn't have to share with anyone. They were *amazing*. Sometimes you just need a little oomph to get you through the day, and today was a day like that for me, and those cookies were the oomph.

A different kind of zoo than anything I've seen in the States. Adam, one of the other teachers, said it was the kind of thing you'd see off the side of a country highway while on family vacation with a name like "Billy Bob's Animal Emporium." He was totally right.

That's right, ladies and gentlemen. Here a Siamese and regular domesticated
short hair black feline pass for attractions in the zoo.

Welcome to the Reptile House! Ohh! Reticulated Pythons! Here is the sign on their cage.

And here are the charming monsters themselves. Aren't they precious?And below...is the door to their cage.
I am so not kidding.

I should mention that the dog on the poster above is the same one in the cage below. Poor thing. I've never seen a dog look so pathetic and obviously depressed. He needs a little doggie xanax or something. But...let me just say what we're all thinking....he's in Korea, he could have it much worse. (Like be on a plate instead of in a cage.)


The most unbelievable part of my time at the ZooZoo was easily the orangutan. (At least I think that's the kind of primate it was.) This poor primate was stuck in a booth with its handler, taking pictures with scads of kindergaten students. He was bored out of his little monkey mind. When one of the last kids of the group in front of ours went up and sat down beside it, he put his hand up on the wall, where he perfectly blocked the kid's face. It seemed very intentional. One of the teachers in that group shook her bottle of pomegranate juice at the monkey. So the monkey reached out and took it. I'm expecting the handler to get mad and take the bottle away. But....no. The monkey tries to open the bottle, which he eventually succeeds in doing holding the bottle with his feet and using his hands to open it. Then he tips the bottle upside down into his mouth and drinks the contents. Amazing. Astounding. At a later point someone in our group gave him a juice box. That seems a little extreme, right? Well, I know I saw the monkey take the straw off himself. I can't quite remember if he got it into the box on his own, but he held it and drank it all by himself. It was amazing. And he had quite a thing for foreigners. When Beth, Adam's wife, went up to take a picture holding Owen, their little boy, the monkey got quite interested. He held up his hand and waved them towards himself. When Beth walked up, the monkey held out his hand and she took it. It was amazing! Then the monkey just looked into her eyes. Same thing when I went up there. The handler told us through a translator that the monkey liked foreigners. Anyway, the pictures are in the next post. It was truly a surreal experience. Looking into the monkey's eyes weren't like looking at Daive's eyes. Of course, if Daive were to get mad or fly off the handle, she couldn't do to me the harm that this monkey could, so that could be a part of it too. It was bizarre.

Why oh why am I such a blogging slacker???

I don't know. I haven't been all that busy, I've very nearly lost the will to blog. What in the world is happening??

On a less alarming note, the past week has been a good one. It's quite interesting, I talked either on the phone or through email with four old college friends this week that I haven't spoken to in awhile. I also talked to Bethany, but we usually talk at least once a week. I talked to Jessica (formerly Barnes) Faircloth, Hope Archey, Sean Tanner, and Neil Blaicher. All good, good people. People that make me realize that even though Graceville was like this church-camp-turned-college bubble experience, it was where God gathered together an awful lot of absolutely incredible people.

Let's see....what else? Oh wait...I don't think I ever posted about the field trip I went on with the kindergarten to the most ghetto zoo in Korea. No, I didn't! (I had to check. I'm oh-so forgetful.) Okay, this zoo deserves a post of its own, so I'll go do that right now.

Above is the sound, roughly translated, that my insides are currently making. This is due to two things: popcorn and frozen yogurt. The combination of these two things substituted as a meal has done horrible things to my stomach. AND at the movie theater my friends and I went to they actually had the liquid artery-clogging butter syrup stuff *GASP*. I was so excited I might have gone a little overboard with it (read "might" as "most certainly and definitely did"). AND two cups of diet coke. That would be the third diet coke I've had since Sunday...a bit of a record for me. Coke Zero just made its (it's? its'? I hate grammar) way to this here part of the Korean peninsula and I had been consuming massive quantities of it, and thinking perhaps the overdose of Splenda (or whatever the artificial sweeter in it is) could be contributing to my sudden burst of migraines. Back to the point - popcorn drenched in disgustingly delicious liquid butter stuff, two glasses of diet coke, and a bit of frozen yogurt (complete with far-from-healthy syrupy fruit on top) does not amount to anything good or healthy. The popcorn makes me feel bloated, but the excessive salt makes me feel a bit shriveled, like I need more moisture. The caffeine makes me want to act like a comedian, and the yogurt (though initially making me happy) has now made me utterly nauseous. That is all.