Kimchi, not for me

It is thankfully over, and I am very close to the time when I will be falling into bed, nearly unconscious. The K-6 class I mentioned before started today. I cannot even begin to explain just how much I dreaded this class. It was even the kind of dread you feel in the pit of your stomach - which took me back to considerably less enjoyable moments in my life. I'm an anxious twitchy person most of the time, probably the closest to the human embodiment of a chihuahua that you'll ever meet, but it's gotten MUCH better over the past five years. Anyway, I had nightmares all last night - some about work, and some induced from the pizza I had for dinner. When I woke up, I was even more tired than when I went to sleep. When I got to work and talked to June, the Korean teacher in charge of planning the class, she said that she had been dreading it all weekend too, and that she didn't even want to come in because of it. Amen, sister. And again, it's not that I'm all that afraid of five year olds - it's just the time taken away from planning and my other new responsibilities and I'm haunted by this gnawing fear that I won't be able to handle it all and end up being a big fat failure. Not to mention that it's a requirement to dance and jump around like a big clown and sing your silly little heart out in these classes. An interesting factoid about me is that while I can sing, can carry a tune and such, I never sing in front of other people. I don't know why - I just never do and never have. Not even in front of Bethany, and she and I spent literally hundreds of hours together in cars going somewhere listening to music. I just don't.

Anyway, moving on...the class went really well though. Of course, it consisted of four of THE cutest children to ever live. Have I mentioned that we have to give them English names if they don't already have one? Mr. Lee's kids (the twin boys belong to my boss) already had English names, but the other boy and the girl didn't. So I named the girl Rosa, and the boy Joey. They are insanely smart, they can count to ten (obviously, in English), and picked up on the colors so fast. Anyway, so the class itself went quite well. It's so funny, all the self-conscious issues and fears I had disappeared as soon as the four probably-terrified children made their way into the room. I applauded, I made absolutely horrible faces at them to get them to laugh, and of course, I sang - alone, even, because one day isn't enough for these kids to know the words. It's so dumb the things that stress me out.

The day went well overall except for one class in particular, and the first taste of "Why isn't this done yet?" I got stressed out and selfishly angry - I spent a substantial portion of my three-day weekend doing stuff for work, to try to get ahead, and already today I got the vibe that I was slacking and not doing so well. Of course, that vibe was because I read too much into things and was grumpy and grouchy. So anyway, I'm sure all will be fine. Then tonight I bought dog food, kitten food, and kitty litter (the kitty arrives Thursday, which is also quite exciting). I was picking out all this stuff, and then I just pointed at the bag of dog food I wanted (it was under some other stuff), and the clerk said, "For Daive?" I, of course, thought I misunderstood him, so I was confused - but then Kylie clarified for me. It's the same place I took Daive when she had nail issues, and I'm also not sure why it surprised me that he remembered me and the name of my dog. Probably not everyday a white girl comes in with her insane and terrifying (scoff) dog.

I really am exhausted, and I'm not sure why. I have to go in to work early tomorrow to get the stuff done I (theoretically) should have had done today. Not looking forward to that...but you gotta do what you gotta do. I really am tired though, and am praying that the potatoes I had for dinner won't inspire the same horrifying dreams tonight as the pizza did last night. Eek. On that note, good night...and sweet non-potato-induced dreams.