Kimchi, not for me

This past weekend I walked out of a movie in a theater for the first time. It was Texas Chainsaw Massacre (don't ask me why it's in theaters here two years after it was out in the States). My reasons for leaving had to do with my own mental defects (tendency to obsess on horrifying thoughts/images and not get them out of my mind no matter what) and the issue of desensitization. In fact, I was so troubled I took a very circuitous route home, and then typed a four-page document in Word to get out all that was on my mind at the moment. I was proud of myself because even though four pages is an awful lot, it was an organized list (divided into personal and general concerns) with points and sub-points. Then I almost left Kylie and Donovan's house during a movie Sunday night. I'm rethinking my position on entertainment - not because I'm righteous or holy, simply because I'm weak and too easily influenced by what I watch, and because my heart is hard enough to the real crises and catastrophes in the world today without the callouses on my heart being strengthened through over-stimluation regarding generally untrue scenarios on the screen (TV and movies). Does that make any sense?

I'm also reading Shadow of the Almighty, by Elizabeth Elliot right now, and I'm learning an awful lot. More than anything, my heart is becoming solidified regarding what I think God's purpose is for my life, but I'm too weak and inconsistent at this point to speak in any certain terms. I also bought two books by Francis Schaeffer (and I'm nearly certain I pelled his name wrong) this Sunday at church. I got the book Rickie quoted (that I always confuse with Colson's book) and another one titled A Christian Manifesto. The issue of the decline of the west has figured prominently in my thoughts since my intensive on the book of Daniel my last setmester at BCF. My issues regarding entertainment have served to strengthen some of my thoughts on the matter, but I'm still really ignorant - so I'm reading the book.

I'm really rather stressed about work - we might not be able to get a new teacher here until July 9, and I'm not sure if my patience and sanity will last that long. I also gave myself a monstrously evil paper cut at work today. It's small things like that that contribute significantly to the already nearly overwhelming feelings of frustration. That, and the fact that my cat thinks my pants are a delightful substitute for a rope ladder, and his internal clock wakes him up around 6:30 AM every morning where he then torments me until I am mean, angry, and loud enough to scare him into a brief silence. Life has to slow down a little bit soon, right? That's all. I need sleep. Night.