Kimchi, not for me

On August 12, 2004 I got on a plane in Pensacola that was headed for Israel (the plane in Pensacola was actually headed for Memphis, but you get the point). I say that I spent five months in Israel but the reality is that it was more like four and a half. Obviously though, five sounds more respectable than four, and four and a half sounds like I'm trying too hard, so I just round up and say five. I arrived in Seoul on December 29. I was happy to make it past the five (four and a half?) month mark because it made me feel like less of a living-abroad failure. Now that I'm approaching the seven and a half month mark (more joking at this point) my perspective is, by God's grace, considerably different.

When I express my surprise at where I am in my life right now, it's not always a statement of being entirely happy or content with where I am, and it has absolutely nothing to do with pride (of the self-centered sinful variety). With that said, I am quite surprised sometimes at where my life is and the possible directions it could be going. There's lots about Korea that I don't love, but the things listed on the "don't love" side of the paper are much fewer in number than they were in the first few months I was here. I'm actually making an attempt to learn the language. And despite the fact that I eat Western food semi-frequently lately, I do like a lot of Korean food (I do not, however, like the kind of food that still has a head and/or eyeballs, or could be seen in an aquarium as well as on my plate). I'm not sure if I'm quite different than I was a year ago, but I do know that I've learned an awful lot. I'm pretty much settled (though that settled is subject to change as God reveals His will to me or as I am shaken from my selfish stupor that could be clouding my judgment) on staying here another year. I don't know if I'll stay at the same school for another year, that much has yet to be determined, but I'm more than likely going to be in Seoul for another year. I love the city, despite the smells and crowds and such. I also love my church. Thinking about staying another year though, makes me a little sad as well. Bethany bought a car about a week and a half ago (congratulations, Bethany!) and I was immensely proud of her for doing something so grown-up. I don't feel grown-up at all. In fact, I sometimes feel like I'm missing out on some of the growing up experience....almost like being held back in a grade, while all my friends move on to the next level in school. I'm 24, and while I'm certainly not in a rush to be married or have kids, I'd like to be slightly closer to it than I am at the moment. And then there's the ever-constant homesickness of missing family, Bethany, and a familiar culture. But I'm still rather certain that this is where I should be, at least for the meanwhile. It's a mixed bag, I tell you. This is something Peter and I talked about and it was nice to have someone who understood it firsthand.

The point of this post though, is not to complain. I'm actually not complaining. I'm content with where I am right now, but it's a bittersweet situation, as is much of life. I've grown up enough to at least realize that. So, here's to my out-of-the-country-for-one-year anniversary. Cheers!