My new favorite web site
I found this website that translates your web page (or any other web page, for that matter) into different dialects. Some choices are redneck, jive, brooklyn, pansy, and chef (as in the swedish chef from the muppets). Thinking of my love for all things Muppet, I figured the chef would be my favorite. However, my favorite, by far, is the pirate dialect. And below is the previous post (the poop post), in pirate-ese.
Incidentally, on the menu, my sister's name was "Wench Leaess." Ha!
And Rickie's link was "A Lad and His Soapbox"
Translation:
A Day o' Firsts
Here's a few o' th' "firsts" from t'day
Me first visit t' a Korean ER
Th' first time I've thought, I'll warrant ye, "Oh, aye, so THIS will be me most embarrassing moment!"
Okay, aye, so only two firsts, I'll warrant ye. But still. Such an embarrassing day, by Davy Jones's locker. I were bein' sick, and th' embarrassing part came in attempting t' explain th' various symptoms o' me sickness t' landlubbers who don't know very much English, I'll warrant ye. I don't want t' be gross or graphic (I've had t' be that most o' th' day, I'll warrant ye, I'm a little tired o' it), but I'll give ye a brief window into me conversation with me admiral this afternoon.
Setting: I'm doubled o'er on th' chair in front o' me computer, aye, having severe abdominal cramps, I'll warrant ye. Me admiral, and three Korean teachers are huddled aroun' me. Donovan is sitting on his chair two-ish feet away, by Davy Jones's locker. Jason is behind th' partition in front o' Donovan. There are various other landlubbers milling about, I'll warrant ye.
Me admiral: "When did ye take th' medicine from Kylie?"
Me: "Just a few minutes ago - groan - I'm still very sick. And swab the deck!"
Me admiral: "What were bein' it fer?"
Me: (having lost dignity previously...progressed t' as-tactful-as-possible bluntness) "It's t' help ye stop pooping, I'll warrant ye."
Me admiral: "Poop, I'll warrant ye, poop, aye, poop, poop...." (Said while tapping that comely wench chin and staring off in space - that winsome lass doesn't know this word and is trying t' jog that comely wench memory, by Davy Jones's locker.)
Me admiral: "Songsangnim, arrrr, blahblahblah poop?" (Songsangnim = teacher, arrrr, blahblahblah = Korean I don't know)
At this point Jason speaks up and says, "DUNG." This word works in both languages. All th' Koreans in th' room give a little gasp, nod their heads in unison, and say, "Ahhhh."
Me admiral: "Okay, hospital."
Not sure if I've already mentioned this or not, arrrr, but hospital=doctor's office here, ye scurvey dog. So I went t' th' hospital with me admiral - almost just went with th' helpful male, by Blackbeard's sword, but someone wisely changed that plan. That ornery cuss drove us. But nay, we went t' a real hospital, ye scurvey dog. T' an emergency room, to be sure, even. I were bein' not that sick, ye scurvey dog. But t' protest would have been far more difficult and required more energy than I had. I have medicine. And Korean "cures, by Blackbeard's sword," - like drink only boiled water - though many landlubbers t'ld me this, arrrr, it switched from "boil it first, aye," to "drink it warm" more than once, so I'm still kinda at a loss. Also, nay cold water and nay soda. When we got back, me admiral talked t' that comely wench mother (th' owner o' th' school) who talked t' th' ajuma (cook, aye, in this case) and had that comely wench make me some rice porridge. Again, by Blackbeard's sword, Melissa - th' hero, th' saint, to be sure, that that winsome lass is - not only went downstairs with me t' face th' dreaded rice porridge music, to be sure, but convinced me admiral that I needed t' eat it upstairs t' I could finish preparing fer me next class, to be sure, and then ate more than half o' it fer me. I tell ye...a true matey.
That's me day. Hope I didn't gross ye out too badly, ye scurvey dog. I assure ye, it were bein' much worse than that, by Blackbeard's sword, though. Oy.
Isn't it hilarious?!?!
