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Tuesday, April 03, 2007 

I was out lying on the trampoline in the backyard tonight, looking up at the stars. It was awesome. The stars seemed so close, and the moon was so bright. In Seoul, I could only ever barely see the moon. And I could never see stars. Once I thought I did, and was having a conversation about it with a Korean teacher from my (first) job, and then he said very kindly, "Teresa, that is airplane." I felt stupid.

Anyway, back to the point. I was lying (and I totally had to use Google to figure out if it was laying or lying) on the trampoline, and I was marveling. That's one thing that has really hit me over the past few days: life is marvel-worthy, awe-inspiring, and exciting. For the past few months, really since about last summer, I was just in survival mode. I had hit some sort of a wall in Korea. I wasn't seeking God as I should have been, and I started looking for fulfillment, affirmation, and encouragement elsewhere. Then, once I knew I was leaving Korea, it was my entire focus. And, Lis can verify this, I slept a lot. I really think that was survival too. There were so many aspects of coming back to the States that were scary, and with our work schedule being so strange from mid-January on, I packed, ate, and slept - for the most part, anyway.

So now I'm in Jacksonville. I no longer feel like I'm just surviving. I had a good friend and my sister call me on the fact that I was trying to pretend like a whole lot of big things had never happened shortly after I got back. And while I know I still have a long way to go, I'm really okay with where I'm at in dealing with things. God has brought me so far. I'm looking into the possibility of teaching a 9-week class for girls at a nearby church about emotional purity and depending on God so as to avoid finding fulfillment/purpose/encouragement/affirmation in the opposite sex. And Mrs. Debbi is working with me on biblical forgiveness, helping me to work out some particularly difficult points from the past. I highly recommend the book that Mrs. Debbi and Dr. Dunlap wrote on the topic. You can get more info at their website here - lots of articles there as well.

Anyway, this slightly wordy blog was written simply to say that God, His creation, and His work in my life right now makes me marvel. And I'm happy I can see stars that are for sure not airplanes.

Stars......wow, I think I remember those.

You are awesome, and God has prepared you for awesome things.

BTW, I can't see anything at the top of your blog. Is it my computer? or am I missing something?

MISS YOU LIKE CRAZY!!!!!

So glad you're home and thinking about things! :) Sounds like you have a good gang there in J'ville to take care of you and make sure you get the things you need.

Oh, on the lie/lay thing: I was watching Oprah the other day (okay, I confess) and a teacher in the audience said, "People lie, things lay." My brain translated "people lie" as in "they are untruthful" and I think it's going to stick that way.

Anyway, welcome back! :)

Unless, of course, a person wants to lie in the past tense sense of the word; in which case, "Teresa is Dunlapped-out and needs to lie down now. She lay down earlier today, but, alas, Seth was playing the drums in the next room."

I forgot to say that: people 'Lie' and chickens 'Lay'.... That's the only way I remember the difference. Love GA Mom

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