Kimchi, not for me

I applied to grad school this week. Isn't it funny that dropping my food processor into the toilet somehow managed to win out over that little tidbit of information? I just didn't think to share it until just now. I'm taking the long-delayed plunge and applying to the modular MA program in Apologetics at Biola. Rickie is in that program, as is (was?) Dr. Rathel at school. I actually first found out about the program from Dr. Rathel. Anyway, I completed my application online today. I also filled out my renewal FAFSA online today at work. And with that said, let me tell you that I feel totally unprepared. I'm concerned that I lack the mental capabilities to do well in this program. One of the top things I've realized over the past year is that I'm not so smart. Perhaps it's more appropriate to say that I've realized that there are many different kinds of intelligence, and I'm sure that this Apologetics program would challenge me in ways that would be very good for me, and exciting, but also scary. With challenges comes the potential to absolutely fail. And that's just scary. I've been browsing a lot at monergism.com as of late, and just read an article last night about presuppositional apologetics. I didn't even know what exactly that was referring to until last night. It seems like particularly since I've been in Korea, mentally I've been losing any sharpness I had left. I'm making an active decision to read more, on a wide variety of subjects, in order to at least attempt to wake my brain up. I think one of my biggest intellectual weaknesses is in the critical thinking department. A perfect illustration of this can be seen when I study eschatology. I studied partial preterism my last semester at BCF and felt fairly convinced of that (though partial preterism seems to be primarily a rejection of dispensational premillennialism, it leaves open the millennium question - I think). I borrowed a book from the missions intern at church entitled "Progressive Dispensationalism" and was stunned to realize that everything I read was what I believed. Now I'm trying to study covenant theology, but I just get discouraged. Anyway, that's all. Just wanted to give the update.