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Wednesday, September 14, 2005 

More Korean Customs

These are the kind of things that would probably be more interesting...I should have been posting about these all along, somehow I just didn't. (Or at least I don't remember posting about it, but as Megan knows all too well, I have a bad habit of repeating myself.)

In any case, one thing I love about Korea is how polite people can be. ("Can" being the key word in that sentence.) Society here is based on a hierarchy. It's vital to know where you stand with other people - if you went to the same high school, you're classmates (and these types of relationships follow you all throughout life). If you work together, you're co-workers...not to be confused with friends. Here it's very rare to be friends (like outside of work friends) with the people you work with. And age factors in...considerably so. Add in all the various kinds of membership - clubs, churches, schools your kids go to, and it makes for a very complex web of relationships. Within that web, there are certain ways you relate to and act with those people, depending on what position they occupy. Before I actually describe those kinds of polite customs and actions, allow me to interject that a stranger is a bad kind of person to be. Korean people are incredibly warm and kind, but only once you're occupying a space in their web (whatever that space may be). Outside the web, you're just a foreigner, good for staring at and running into on the subway.

So anyway, there's lots of bowing here, which I cannot do well or properly to save my life, but that's what I get for being a Westerner. If someone older than me, a boss, or someone I really respect hands me something, I accept it with both hands (or with one hand, and the other hand touching the inside of the extended hand's elbow). This is polite. If I give something to someone older than me, a boss, or someone I really respect, I hand it to them with both hands (or as above, with the other hand touching the inside elbow of extended arm).

Now for drinking...because it's such a huge part of the culture here (particularly the business world...you can't do business without drinking here), there's all kinds of rules. Because I generally only drink cola, and spend time with Koreans who I'm extremely comfortable with, I don't really get them all. I do know that generally, you aren't supposed to pour your own beverage. Someone else should pour it for you (and if that person is older than you/boss/one you respect, you hold your cup with both hands). Then, if you are drinking with someone you significantly respect, your elder, or your boss, you turn your face away when you drink (assuming you're drinking an alcoholic beverage). I went out with some friends from work on Friday night, and they insisted on pouring my cola into the soju shot glass, and so I observed the not-pouring-for-yourself rule and the holding-with-two-hands rule (but not the turning away one).

For the most part, Korean culture still eludes me in many ways. I find myself doing the two handed thing often though, because I'd rather be too respectful (AKA, look like a foreign idiot) than be disrespectful (AKA, reinforce the typical American stereotype). At church, when I'm handing out bulletins, I've noticed that many other foreigners do the two hand thing automatically as well...so it's not just me. But it really is just habit now. And that's all for now. I just realized how much time I've spent typing this when I should be doing work. Night.

I don't...or rather, can't. That requires far more coordination and skill than I possess. However, now that I think about it, I've seen Koreans do it. (You might be being sarcastic though and I just don't get it. My ability to perceive subtle and witty jokes is diminishing because I spend most of my time talking to people whose grasp of English is not good enough to do either.)

And just as a random addition, when my class of four year olds sings the goodbye song (Goodbye, goodbye, I'll see you tomorrow. Thank you, thank you, I had a pleasant time.) they bow at the "thank you, thank you" part and it's adorable.

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