Six Weird Things about Me
The last thing anyone here needs is more proof that I'm strange. However, as my dear sister required me to join in this weirdness sharing fest...here goes.
1. I have to have socks on while I sleep.
2. The word "jambalaya" alone induces gagging, and on occasion, actual vomit.
3. For the pet Halloween costume contest I dressed one dog as Martin Luther (the white dog) and the black dog as the door of the chapel at Wittenburg where he nailed the 95 Theses.
4. I passed my dog off as a service dog so she could fly from Pensacola to Tel Aviv with me on my lap (no cage) for free. (And when pressed about it in Amsterdam I started to exaggerate and strayed from my set speech due to nervousness and ended up telling these wide-eyed flight attendents that she could dial 911 if the phone's buttons were big enough.)
5. I cannot make myself use a soft-bristled toothbrush. I think they're for wimps. I want either Medium or Hard.
6. I have to sleep with a sleep mask (Tempur-Pedic even, the BEST ever made) to block out all light and a fan on near my head to block out as much sound as possible.
I'm supposed to tag people, but most people don't pay attention to that anyway. I'll say Bethany, Val, JoAnna (if she's ever online again), my GA Mom (do it in the comment section if you wish), and Haley should do it....if you want. :)
But now, off to bed.
PS - Just as I was typing "off to bed" my idiot cat (language has been severely censored) knocked over an entire glass of water from my bedside table ONTO my bed, soaking half of my mattress, a very good portion of my bedding, the book I was reading, my SOCKS (weird thing #7 I think wet socks are one of the most unpleasant things that can be experienced in everyday hum-drum life), and then when said uncoordinated obese kitty was trying to run for his LIFE out of my room, he got caught on the cord and knocked over the fan and a stack of books. I hate the cat right now. That is all.
Although I too used to wear socks to bed, I have grown out of this phase. I now find them to be rather stifling, except on chilly nights when my toesies are cold.
Weirdly enough, the word "jambalaya" elicits a similar response from me (less the actual vomit) having spent the better part of a night watching/helping my old Marine Corps roommate as this strange cajun concoction did an about face through his digestive tract.
As far as the soft bristle tooth brush, I have been sternly advised that anything stiffer can put you at serious risk for the dreaded "tooth brush abrasion". And all this time I thought I was using a toothbrush for the purpose of scrubbing down my teeth? Needless to say, I have buckled to the pressure and now I sacrifice "cleaner teeth" on the altar of "less abrasive" teeth. Perhaps the recently perfected "flick" technique, which was discovered by a country not to be named, is the answer to both problems. I would strongly advise caution.
Lastly, I find it somewhat paradoxical that a person is a "wimp" for using a soft tooth brush, yet wearing a sleep mask is somehow a sign of strength (the brand not withstanding)? Perhaps you have thin eyelids?
Posted by
Adam Dube |
1:57 AM
I loved that comment. It literally made me laugh till I cry.
Now for a rebuttal...
1. Only two weeks ago I broke down and bought a soft-bristle toothbrush. My tooth don't feel nearly as clean (with or without said "flicking" technique), but I suppose are safer.
2. A sleep mask has absolutely nothing to do with the strength of toothbrush bristles (in China? seemed like a fitting ending). Besides, wearing a sleep mask doesn't so much say that I'm wimpy as much as it says I'm spoiled. So there. (or something)
3. This one isn't so much a rebuttal, but explanation. Jambalaya induces vomiting in me because I spent an entire 24 hour period trying to convince my body not to evict my intestines after they vetoed the jambalaya and sent it back. Trust me, it was NOT pretty. My evil brother-in-law still torments me with this word. I made the mistake of telling this story (in simpler English, of course) to one of my 6th grade classes at my old job and the two boys tried to torment me. Fortunately they had horrible pronunciation, so they wasted their time following after me calling out "jumbalie." Good times.
Posted by
Teresa |
2:14 AM
PS - Adam, I wanted to nominate you to do the weird list also, but wasn't sure if you'd do it. Since I am not technically allowed access to your blog, I didn't know if there'd be any point. But you should...I can help you think of some if you need help. :) (kidding)
Posted by
Teresa |
2:16 AM
What's so weird about a fan...plenty of us choose to block out noise with a cheap ($10) fan vs. the expensive, noise making items from Sharper Image. As far as a sleep mask, what if someone came into your room and you needed to open your eyes quickly? Oh now that makes me panic. Speaking of panic, it is a proven fact that certain words are acceptable during times of stress. They take the place of medications and immediately release our much needed explosive emotions. There's nothing like a good ol' s---t!
You are just fine by all the measures of another 'odd duck' in society, remember "We love you just the way you are!" Your GA mom
Posted by
Anonymous |
2:31 PM