Kimchi, not for me

- I don't know why there is a life-sized rooster wearing a hooded velvet robe behind the counter at the palm-reading/fortune-telling booth in the subway stop near my house. (FYI, when I say "life-size," I mean the size of a man, not the size of a rooster.) The man-sized rooster arguably would be disturbing and weird enough. But something about the dark green hooded velvet robe it's wearing...just really freaks me out.

- I don't know why my cat farts whenever I startle him (or Daive startles him, or when he runs across the room - it doesn't take much). Even more confounding is what I must be feeding him for his body to produce such utterly noxious odors. It's quite disturbing.

- I don't know why Chili's (located far too conveniently near my home) had to change its menu and include ranch dressing. I won't admit how many times I've eaten there in the past two weeks with people from work because it's too embarrassing. But suffice it to say that it's becoming an addiction (for me and one of the Korean teachers). Ranch dressing just reminds me of home.

- I don't know why I can't just be happy for Donovan that his parents are here visiting. Actually, that statement isn't entirely true. I was happy until yesterday (when they arrived). Seeing how excited he and Kylie were made me think long and hard about how long it has been since I've seen my family and friends. Today they visited the school, toured it, etc. and it was all I could do to hold it together. I'm trying not to be too hard on myself - it has been almost a year, but a year isn't all that long at the same time. Nonetheless, I'm homesick.

- I don't really know how to operate the cell phone I'm using right now. It's a hand-me-down, originally belonging to one of the Korean teachers until he upgraded. Now he lends it out to native teachers so we don't have to buy our own phone. The menu is in Korean - but I've maneuvered my way around it okay today - changing the ring, and almost successfully sending a text message.

- I don't know what I'm going to do for vacation. I'm not going to be able to go to China, and my friend (for sure) can't come here. Jenny (Korean teacher at work) wants us to go to Pusan together and go to the beach. Pusan, I'm okay with that. But going to the beach here - not a chance. No way. As it is I feel like Enormo-Woman, a veritable King Kong storming about the city crushing buildings with my giganto-feet and eating whole children in the afternoons to tide me over between meals. Somehow I think going to the beach would make the whole image worse (if that is even possible, though I know it is). And before you accuse me of being dramatic, take a look at some of the old pictures with me and one of the Korean teachers - the difference in head size alone proves my point.

- I don't know why I automatically and necessarily slip into the "I'm a total dweeb" role whenever I feel uncomfortable. I did that today when I met Donovan's parents, because they (Donovan's parents, Kylie, Donovan, Ms. Lee, and Mr. Lee) in the consult room off from the teacher's room, and Mr. Lee came in and rounded us all up to go in and meet them. The consult room holds four people comfortably, and there was already six people in there. I have found Koreans (overall/in general, and definitely the ones I work with) to be at least a little shy, and so they all felt a little awkward, which made me feel awkward. They introduced Jenny, Sunny, June, Joan, and then me. As I was the last to stick my head in to be introduced, I started singing the "Which of these things is not like the other?" song from Sesame Street (at least I think that's what it's from). Of course none of the Korean staff got the joke...I'm not even sure if anyone besides Kylie did - as soon as I said it I got embarrassed and left (followed by the shy Korean staff, so at least leaving wasn't so conspicuous).

- And last, I don't know why I'm still awake. Must sleep. Night everyone.